


Second Chances

by Maylie_H



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Declarations Of Love, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Leadership, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Survival, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26773543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maylie_H/pseuds/Maylie_H
Summary: Starting from Season 4's finale, except it is Clarke that goes to ark and echo who's left behind. Octavia is underground as it was. There will be discovering new sides of each other, when they are up in space, with no war, action or fighting. They will bond in different ways, they will have happines and heartbreaks. At our first chapter, we will focus on our team in space.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, John Murphy & Raven Reyes, John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Monty Green & Harper McIntyre, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre
Comments: 9
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

When the dropship door closed, Clarke felt like she was just being sent to earth but the hand closing over hers reminded her nothing was same with then. Bellamy's tight grip on her hand and reassuring smile eased her heartbeat. It was still beating like a bird trying to get away from its cage, though. Leaving the atmosphere and losing gravity was not easy. It was such a strange feeling, Clarke could not describe it with words; maybe she could paint it. She realized she really missed painting. If she had a chance, she would like to paint all the beauty she's seen on earth. All the beauty they just destroyed. Even thinking about it made her feel like drowning under guilt and responsibility. 

She looked around, at her friends faces. Six faces, strained with fear, adrenalin and shock. Harper and Mont were holding hands too, as well as Murphy and Emori. Raven had shut her eyes, muttering something to herself. Clarke's eye went back to Emori again; she seemed paler then the rest. Clarke's eye met with Murphy's this time; she could see he noticed it too. There was something wrong with Emori, but there was nothing Clarke could do at the moment.

When the dropship attached to ark, they all waited for a while in silence and stillnes. It looked like none of them could move first. It was Raven who got up first to check that everything was in place and right for them to get out. Once she made sure, they all unbuckled and get out of the dropship. The Ark was dark, cold and empty. They were in the one wing that was left habitable. While they were standing in the long and empty hall, it was Bellamy who broke the silence, "So, home sweet home?" 

This made them all laugh. And they laughed for minutes, till their eyes were wet with tears whether from laughter or crying, unimportant. It was still early to feel relieved but they couldn't help themselves. For a second they felt like there was peace in the air finally. It was Emori's scream what broke the silence. She fell on her knees at the same time, crumpled in pain, holding her stomach and chest. John was on his knees too at the second, trying to understand what was going on. All Emori could get out of her mouth was that she couldn't breath, between her gasps. Her color was getting worse, Clarke noticed. She was right in front of Emori, holding her wrist to get her pulse, looking at her face, checking her eyes. Murphy was frantic, begging Clarke to help when she saw the blood dripping from Emori's nose. John was the second to notice. He was cradling her head on his lap, caressing her face and begging Clarke to do something. But there was nothing Clarke could do, cause it took about minutes for Emori to die. Before she could understand what was happening and do something about it Emori gave her last breath. After some time, when she thought about it she came to the conclusion that Emori couldn't survive the space ride because she never left earth before; but at that moment they were all shocked to think or do anything. It was so sudden, they did not expect it and they couldn't convince Murphy of its reality when they could not believe it themselves. 

After that horrible first day, for a week all they did was trying to make that place somewhere they could live, deciding what to do with Emori's body and watchin John at all times, in case he'd try to do something to himself. Monty was trying to revive agriculture room so they could have a place to recycle organic life. Raven was working on all the mechanics and energy sources, which was a lot of work. Harper was helping them both as she could. Clarke and Bellamy were going on discovery tours around the ark, to see which parts were working, what was usable. They were gathering anything they thought they could use and carrying them back to the block they were living. It was their tenth day and they were on one of those trips again. This time they were trying to reach the block where some of the medical rooms used to be in. Clarke wanted to find some supplies in case they would need it. Right now all they had was the kit they found in the dropship. When Bellamy spoke she was examining a plastic wire. 

"Do you think we can make it through all those years in here?" He sat, his back against the wall, his knees propped up to his chest, arms resting on his knees. He looked really tired, Clarke thought. His eyes were carrying weight of worlds, filled with such sadnes and pain. She didn't know if they could make it out safe and sound, and that long. But she didn't voice these thoughts. Instead she smiled a sincere smile before she spoke,

"I think we can survive anywhere if we survived on earth. Thinking about all we did and went through down there, here feels like paradise to me. I still can't sleep with my both eyes closed Bellamy. I still feel so tired..."

Bellamy knew she was right. If there was anyone who would make sure they survived it was Clarke. She was the head of their team after all. And she was right about him having such a big heart, cause all he was feeling was excrutiating grief and worry about his little sister, whom he left behind. He was big brother, he was supposed to be with her, protect her; but she was all alone now, god knows in what shape and state? He knew she was strong, could take care of herself; but he also knew about her wild side. That side could be the key to her survival or could get her killed. He hated that word, even the idea of something happening to Octavia was agonizing to him. Clarke, sitting beside him, could read his mind and feel all his worries but couldn't take it away from him. 

"You know she's got royal blood in her right? I mean if anyone was going to be a queen it would be Octavia," she smiled back at his smile, "I'm serious, she is the biggest survivor I've ever seen. She was a survivor up here, she was a survivor down there...If anyone could get out of that bunker back on surface, it would be Octavia. I was always amazed by her strength and grace, and life energy." Clarke saw the brotherly smile light up his face, this time with pride and compassion. "You did not leave her back Bellamy, it was not your fault. She wanted to be down there with the grounders and what she believes in; you wanted to be up here. You have done all you could as a brother but she wanted to make her own path, and that happens to be apart from yours. Please stop blaming yourself or otherwise guilt will eat you up from inside." 

Bellamy felt so grateful and lucky that she was right by his side. He didn't know what he would do without her. She could always see through him, read his mind and knew what to say. They stared at each others eyes till they heard the footsteps down the hall. Raven showed up after seconds, with a wrench in her hand and worry in her eyes, "I've been looking for you guys everywhere, you need to come and calm Murphy. He's screaming in his sleep. We couldn't wake him up, he's burning up. I think he has a bad fever." They stood up and raced down the hall after Raven. It took about two hours for Murph's fever to come down after Clarke gave him one of three shots in the medical kit. She was taking away his sweat with a damp cloth when Bellamy entered with a tray in his hands. There was her share of the can they opened for the day. She thanked him and ate it, in about two minutes while they sat in silence. Grief and lost was more intense in this room, you could feel it in your heart. She didn't notice she was crying until Bellamy traced the line a tear left away on her cheek, "You need to get some sleep Clarke, who's gonna take care of us if you get sick too? You're too tired, not just physically but mentally too. We all are...And John is going to be like this for a while but time makes everything more bearable." 

She thanked him with tears in her eyes and left to go to her room. Days till now were dark and groomy but she wanted to believe they were going to find the light again. They always did...


	2. Healing

They were in their fourth week, when Monty entered the main room they gathered to eat, talk and spend time together, with sparks of joy in his eyes. He was working on a system to create clean water from any kind of fluid he could get his hands on like their body fluids, using different ways of recycling. His voice was as cheerful as his looks when he spoke,

"I wanna scream eureka but I already did that in there and Harper hated it, so I don't think you'd be a big fan either. There is one thing for sure, you're gonna love me, hell you should give me a throne and kneel before me-" It was Harper's elbow hitting his stomach that stopped him, "Too much?"

"Yes Monty, a bit." She giggled when she said that. They shared a look anyone would be jealous of. Clarke could see they loved each other, so could John with a bitter look on his face. Bellamy has been able to convince him to leave his room and sit with others. He's been watching Murphy as Clarke did, with side glances. Since he didn't want him to run back to his room again, he jumped in Monty and Harper's talk,

"You should show us, and teach us how to use it. You shouldn't be the only one who knows, we might need to do that too. Since Raven's not here and Clarke's going to work on cleaning the tools we found the other day, it could be Murphy and I who would learn today." He was trying to sound nonchalant but his excitement was audible. He was showing extra attention to Murphy, taking care of him as he let him. Clarke was thinking that he was trying to do what he couldn't with Octavia, after Lincoln. 

Monty was his biggest help on that mission, "Definitely, since I am not your slave we should all take turns working on it. Could I eat something first though, I'm starving." He then went to get a can from the cabinets over the sink and sat down on the table to eat it. Murphy's silence after tht offer, not saying no right away was a good sign. Bellamy couldn't sit still, eager to get on it, afraid that John would change his mind. 

Raven walked in with black grease all over her clothes and face. She was alway absent, fixing or breaking things, Clarke wasn't sure. Two of them had a talk the night before, about her mother, since Clarke felt like she was the only one who could actually share her feelings on this one. Clarke wanted to teach her some medical information since they had a lot of free time in their hands but Raven was not very interested in that. So Clarke started to teach Harper instead. 

Raven sat on the sofa across the one John was sitting. Then Murphy throw a piece of cloth he was playing with to Raven, "Clean yourself up first you filthy creature. You look like you came out of goo." This was the first time he spoke without being asked something; so they all turned their heads at him at the same time. He shaked his head slowly, "Way to act normal you guys...", clapping his hands in slow motion. Then got up and left the room. 

They all looked at each other with big smiles on their faces. This was the first time their smiles actually reached their eyes since that day. It was Monty to talk first, "I knew this was a day of miracles. First I make sure you won't dry up from thirst, then we hear his angelic voice." They giggled slowly, like they were afraid of being heard and getting punished for it. Even if it wasn't as hard as Murphy's, they were all very sad about Emori's death and grieving. If there was one thought they all shared but newer said out loud, it was how much damaged they all were from their time on earth. 

They had their second shock for the day, when Murphy walked back in with a notebook in his hand. He was looking at Monty and Bellamy, "Are we gonna work or sit here without moving a muscle all day? I thought you were so eager to show off, farm boy." 

That was enough for Bellamy and Monty to jump on their feet and walk after him. Bellamy turned his head right before he left the room and looked at Clarke with a bright smile on his face. She turned his smile with a brighter one. 

Raven left after them saying that she was indeed needed to clean up. Harper was looking at Clarke with an unsure look, "Should we go after them and watch them secretly or is it too childish?" 

Clarke laughed at her attitude, "I just thought of the same thing but I don't want to scare Murphy away. I think we should leave them alone for this one." She was playing with the pen in her hand while talking.

Harper nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I think you're right," she leaned over the table and looked at the paper in front of Clarke, "What are you drawing?" 

Clarke was wondering the same thing. She really wanted to draw today, thinking maybe she could feel lighter if she draw away her memories but she couldn't bring herself to remember anything. So her paper was filled with a lot of doodles that turned into black masses. Then she looked up at Harper with a light in her eyes, "How about I draw you? I know Monty would like it." 

This made Harper smile too, "You know what, I always wanted a portrait. Why not?" She said she was going to comb her hair and be back in a minute. Again, brighter then she walked in. It must be the day's light, touching all of them, one by one, Clarke thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy even if one person reads what I write and I would really appreciate if you could share some thoughts in the comments. I believe it would help me learn and improve myself. Thanks a lot for the kudos!


	3. Time flies by

When Clarke draw the line on her wall as she did every morning, she realized they just finished their third month in the ark. She was trying to keep track of time, but it was difficult to do so. She stood in front of her mirror, a broken piece, while she was combing her hair. She inspected herself for a while. She has lost weight, she noticed. She was pale too, which was normal. They were trying to last with the canned food they had by rationing it, so they were not getting the nutritions they should've had. Even every one of them knew they should have found a way to grow something, none of them was voicing it. Monty was working real hard on that, they all knew but he wasn't God. There was a limit to things he could do and without a source of energy it was near impossible to grow anything. So Raven had directed her time and energy to find a way to create that source. Murphy was working himself to death for the past two months. First it was helping Monty, then when that wasn't enough for him anymore he started to practice with Bellamy on some defense techniques. Clarke knew he couldn't sleep. They shared a wall between their rooms, so she could hear him waking up screaming everynight; then getting out of his room walking the empty halls. One night she wanted to keep him company but he told her to leave him alone, so she couldn't ask again. They thought he would start healing when he wanted to work that first time; but it didn't take them long to see that he was only passing time; and working his body and mind only helped to silence his thoughts. He was nowhere close to healing because he didn't want to heal. 

Even though they searched every hall and every possible corner; and came to a call that there was nothing to find anymore, Bellamy and Clarke were still going on their tours. They both saw that time of their day as something they were looking forward to. They both found it easier to talk to each other then the rest. These tours were their time to relax, confide in each other and be themselves. They were young and scared too but they couldn't be those things when they were with the group. Without asking they have become the parents and now they were acting to it. And it was different here then it was on earth. They were finally talking about things other then war, enemies, fighting and all. They were discovering different sides of each other and finally becoming actual friends rather then co-leaders. Bellamy was talking about mythology amd history; Clarke was talking about painters and paintings. On one of their trip they found a room with boxes in it, and books in the boxes. That was a golden day for them but the real victory belonged to another day. 

One day while they were walking the same corridors for the fifth time they felt tired and decided to sit in a room alond the hall. It was empty beside a bed, a desk and a small kitchen area. Bellamy sat on the bed and Clarke sat on the floor. They opened the can of beans they took with them and started to eat while talking about the first time they saw a lake on earth. Then something caught Clarke's eye, there was something under the bed. When she reached and grabbed it Bellamy was already on the floor, by her side. She dragged it out and heard Bellamy's gasp. It was a book, old, tattered, 'The Illiad'. She knew it was one of Bellamy's favourites. She looked at his widened eyes and gave the book to him. He read to her for hours in that room, with excitement and melancholy in his voice. That was the day Clarke met the child inside Bellamy...

Clarke's second favourite day would be the day she convinced Bellamy to draw him, like she did with Harper. But it was harder with him cause he couldn't stay still more than five minutes. So after a few hours of work she decided to finish it without him modeling for her. But those few hours, Bellamy made her laugh more then she ever did, till she was gasping for air. She didn't know when was the last time she laughed like that but she could trade a lot of moments in her life for those hours with Bellamy. She actually felt young, alive and she realized she forgot how it was to be just a human, without big responsibilities and chaos. 

Bellamy wasn't any different then her. Except his most favourite day was the day he made her laugh, then came the day they found the Illiad. While she was holding her chest shaking with laughter, her cheeks red with joy and heat of the room, her hair tossled and her eyes bright with tears, Bellamy thought she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He's seen tall, green trees, big mountains, endless ocean, blue lakes and bright sun but none of them could compete with Clarke's beauty. She could be brighter than the sun, otherwise there was no explanation on how that little room had light up when she laughed. 

He loved their tours and could just walk and talk with Clarke all day, but his mind was occupied with John all the time. He wanted to do something, help him in any way he could but John was shutting them all out. When he accepted Bellamy's offer to train him, Bellamy thought he could use those times to reach him. But Murphy wasn't talking, or let Bellamy talk. If he opened up a little, told someone how he felt, or maybe rant, shout and cry Bellamy knew he would feel better. Instead John was trying to express his pain by punching Bellamy. 

He only talked once...He told Bellamy how he met Emori. In the Dead Zone, while searching for the City of Light, "I was impressed, you know? With her bravery, her courage and her confidence. She told me how her parents saw her as a stain in their bloodline...but she wasn't. I never thought that she was damaged, to me she was a badass." 

And that was the only time Bellamy heard from him anything about Emori. It was Harper who heard him talking to himself while they were working in the once green room, at different corners. Most of the time she couldn't pick out what he was saying but sometimes she could hear the name Emori. Then she noticed he was talking to her...She never let him know she was hearing him, or told anyone about it. Not even to Monty.

Monty was avoiding the elephant in the room because he was still damaged from Jasper's loss and afraid that they were gonna lose Murphy like that too. So he was focused on making the green room green again. Anytime he wasn't working he was spending with Harper. He still couldn't forgive themselves for destroying the earth but he couldn't deny he was glad for his time in here. He finally wasn't scared of getting attacked while sleeping, or torn between groups that each had his friends. He was worried for the ones they left in the bunker but since he couldn't do anything about it, worrying was for nothing. But he knew they were going to have food and water problem too. That bunker was filled with people way more than it was designed for. People who hated each other till a second ago. At least up here, they didn't hate each other. And to their luck they had Raven with them, mechanic genius...

Raven was used to being alone, but here she was feeling it more intense. Harper and Monty had each other, Bellamy and Clarke was inseperable as always and Murphy was the broken part of 'Murphy and Emori'. She was missin Finn more than ever, especially being here, in the ark was bringing back memories. He was her best friend, first love. So if anyone could understand John it was Raven, but she couldn't find it in her to help him. His pain was drowning for anyone who gets near him. So she was working. First she found all the pieces and tools she thought to be useful. Then she fixed the dead circuits. And for a while she was working on the solar panels. They were dead as hell but she has brought some dead system back to life, so why couldn't she do this? When she did, maybe it would bring life to the death roaming the halls and suffocating them...


	4. A little walk

One day, while he was walking the halls aimlesly, Murphy heard a sobbing. He walked toward the sound, and saw Raven crouched in the corner, her head on her knees, crying. He thought about leaving like he's never seen her but then he found himself walking to her. When he stood by her, she felt his presence and lift up her head. She was just looking at his face with tears in her eyes and he was avoiding her gaze. He didn't know what to do or what to say; but here he was and he had to do something. So he sat down, beside her. He draw his knees up to his chest and placed his arms on his knees. 

"You lost your screwdriver, princess ?" he said, and wrinkled his face with disgust the minute he said it. "I've been hanging out with Bellamy a lot, and thats how he refers to Clarke, so I must have picked it up from him, I guess.." he added. She laughed at this. It was a sad laugh, so it made John to feel sympathy for Raven. Now, he new sad laughs better than anyone. He knew sad talks, sad walks, sad sleeps, sad dreams... He was missing Emori so much, sometimes he was thinking he couldn't breathe. 

Raven's eyes were examining John's face while he was thinking, like he was zoned out. She knew he was carrying those horrible moments with him all the time and reliving over and over again. She's done it too, for a long time she kept replaying the moment Clarke stabbed Finn in her head, to see what she could do different. How she could have prevented it? Then she realized that there was no point; cause it was too late. Then she stopped torturing herself like that; all the action they had back then, on earth, helped her about that of course. Here, since they had nothing to occupy them, it was a lot harder to push back memories. 

"That's why you need some adrenalin," she said with a half smile on her face. He looked confused for a second, since he couldn't hear her previous thoughts; but then he winked as in the way of asking 'Like what?'. She got up and offered her hand to help him. He held her hand and got up on his feet. Then she started dragging him down some halls with an excitement in her steps. They came to a stop in front of the shaft doors. He thought to himself 'Oh good, we will jump out to space. It sure would be an adrenalin shot.', but waited in patience for her to talk. 

She was opening a sort of closet when she said, "Do you know what were my birthday wishes for years, since I was seven?". He was looking at her with incredulous eyes when he saw what she was holding in her hands. Raising his eyebrows, "Please do tell," he said. 

"Spacewalk!" she said, or screamed a bit, with a pitched voice. She added, "It is the most amazing feeling in the universe and a real source of adrenaline." 

"Yeah, NO!" John said and turned to leave. Raven held him by arm and didn't let him go. 

"Just listen to me okay?" she said and continued, "I've been checking the suit to make sure it would stand another spacewalk and made sure it was in good shape to do so a few days ago. I was going to do it my self if I could have convince someone to help me but I guess you need it more then I do. And I'm the one you would want here while you're out there." 

She was actually serious, John realized. She literally wanted to put him in that suit and throw him out at space. So he was that horrible to have around?! 

"Wow!" he said, "I didn't know you hated me that much Raven". She laughed, "You think I would waste an amazing opportunity to walk in space just to get rid of you? Really? There are way easier ways to do it".

She looked so confident and sure of herself, he actually found himself considering it. What else was he gonna do anyway? He was sulking all they, helping any kind of work just to stop his brain from thinking for a second. This could be another way to do that. The idea of walkin in space was scary, but that's good, he thought. He wanted to be scared, he wanted to feel anything other than sadnes. So he said he was in. 

It took about twenty minutes for Raven to do some adjustments, and he was in the suit in about thirty minutes. From opening the shaft door to closing, he couldn't describe what he felt. It was a surreal experience. Raven was right, it was amazing. When they opened the shaft door it gave and alarm and brought everyone in, so they were watching him with widened eyes the whole time. Also when he started to cry falling on his knees once he was out of the suit. When the adreanalin kicked in and when he found himself walking back on the ship like that day, all the emotions rose up inside and shook him. This was the most agonizing and heartbreaking cry he had. Raven hugged him and pressed his head to her chest while stroking his damp hair. He was shaking her with him. Others left them alone, walking back the route they followed before. 

Raven was feeling regretful and cursing herself on the inside for causing this, but she didn't know that she helped him like noone else could. She made him feel alive after months... 


	5. Drop of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, we are peeking at Echo's side...It is not a long chapter, a beggining to her side of the story. I hope you will like it too. Forgive my mistakes of grammar and language...

When Echo heard the loud exploision she was already hit by the blow, laying on the floor of labratory she chose to stay back. She was born and raised on earth, she was a grounder. This was her home; so she wanted her death to be here too instead of in a dropship thrown into space. 

Her ancestors have done it once, maybe she could do it too. She was a warrior, she was raised as one. She could handle being on her own for a while and reach down to the bunker if she could survive this moment. 

It was hot, scolding hot. That's what she felt first, the heat wave. Then it was dark...

When she tried to open her eyes she couldn't do it and felt panicked. Her eyelids felt like they were sticked to each other. She wanted to touch her eyes but she couldn't feel them either. She wanted to scream but no sound came out of her mouth. It was still so hot, outside and inside of her body. Then she dipped into darkness again...

This time she could open her eyes...She didn't know where she was or how long it has been. When she lay there without a motion it started to come back to her. First she remembered the explosion, then that she was in the labratory. How long she was on that floor, that she didn't know. 

It took her a long time to be able to get up and out. She was afraid what was gonna happen and what she was gonna see when she came out yet she took the steps that carried her to outside. And she found herself in a cloud of dust. She couldn't see anything and she definetly coudn't breathe so she rushed back in. She closed the broken door as much as she could. She stayed there for days, without food, without water. She was checking to see if the air was cleared for her to be able to get out but it was always a let down that she was facing. 

When the dust and smoke had finally settled down she was on the end of her strength. With the last of her strength she's been able to get herself up and walked outside. It was a dessert, all she could see...There was nothing else but empty ground and heat...She walked till she couldn't anymore, then she crawled till she passed out again. This time she din't stay unconscious for too long, she was dazy the whole time, half awake. She knew she was a survivor, that's what she kept reminding herself the whole time. But how could someone survive when there was no life left around. The truth was that she was starting to accept that she was going to die and she was fine with that. She had accepted that chance when she decided to stay back. 

While she was laying on burning sands, thinking about her past she heard a sound. It was like a current, sound of water. Oh she knew she was hearing it in her mind...It was gonna turn into some other voice like Roan's that kept talking in her head or her mother's. She was sure of it; but it didn't. That brought her attantion to present and she found the strentgh to rise. She was still hearing it. She couldn't believe her ears. 

It took all she had left in her broken body to follow that voice. When she came to the end of a hill and saw what was in front of her she was thanking to the way she was raised. Even though she was still thinking it was a hallucination she didn't care. She just wanted to watch it; there was life in front of her, down the hill. It was like an alcove, a valley covered by the hills around and kept alive, all green. Now she was hearing it stronger, it was near. With that she felt the thirst scorching her insides like a hellfire more than ever. She wanted to feel water on her every cell. 

She didn't know where the power came from but she was running down the hill, falling at times... She knew if she didn't do it now, with the last drop of life running through her body with adrenalin rush, she couldn't do it ever. She gave her body the permission to fall when she came by the side of a little creek. She was on her knees, her face inside the water drinking like an animal. She throw up when she drank to much at once, but then she drank some more. When she was convinced she had enough water in her body she lay back on the grass and soil, smelliing it and thought to herself. So there was still some life left on earth, then she was going to survive... 


	6. Caged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little peek at the bunker...I know it's not too long but this was for us to see the situation down there before we get to the real problems. I hope you liked it...

Walls of the little room she picked for herself were showered with dancing shadows caused by the candle light. She had already memorized every crack and dent on them. Here she was again, sitting on the floor her back against her bed as she did everytime she felt she couldn't do it anymore. She woulr say she was going to think and hide in here. Octavia wanted to be the little sister of her brother again, not the leader they expected her to be. Of course she brought this on herself by doing what she did. She thought it was the right thing to do, cause the opposite was letting more than half of the population die. They were humanbeings that they were gonna let die on the outside while they were safe inside, the chosen ones. 

But she didn't want to choose, for once she wanted everyone to survive, together. Now she was seeing what kind of a big mistake it was. Knocking on her door interrupted her thoughts, it was Abby.

"Hey, can I come in?" she asked with a calming tone in her voice, like she was talkin to a wild animal. I nodded and she sat beside me on the floor. She was looking at the wall too when she talked,

"You know they are waiting for an explanation from you, right?" she said. I answered her with a simple, "I know". 

That made her head turn to me, I could feel her eyes piercing through my skull. Her voice less calming more bitter when she started talking again.

"You became their queen when you ended that chaos we had our second week here. You made sure no one would dare to question it when you beheaded those three men for breaking a rule you made. Now you have a responsibility to face, they are all looking at you-" 

I cut her, "I know that cery well, trust me!" I said raising my voice. "I don't need you to remind me that they are looking at me because I can feel every stare on me when I walk down the halls. I can feel every scared look, every hatefull stare; I can hear every whisper..." I said, till my voice broke with pain.

"Then you should know there are kids out there as well as adults," Abby said her hand touching my shoulder. "They are hungry, haven't eaten anything for days. You took away the food that was left and they are too scared to ask for it. But hunger can make them do things you can not imagine Octavia. So what are you planning to do?"

Octavia didn't know what she was going to do, she didn't have a plan when she gathered all the food in the bunker. She did it because they were consuming too fast and soon they were not going to have anything to eat so they will start to eat each other, metaphorically of course. She couldn't stop another war that started between those people if they were also crazier with starvation this time. Abby was right, hunger and urge to survive could make people do anything. That's why they had to bear hunger periodically rather than for good. She was going to ration it as well as she could, but they were not listening to her. Because they didn't want to hear the horrible truth, she thought. They'd rather be deaf to it than facing the fact that they were all trapped down here with no exit. How could they not see what was going on and be more rational; they were leaving all the old people to die as well as the sick ones. 

Her voice was stern and raw with these thoughts when she answered Abby, "I want you to go out and tell them they will have food tomorrow night. If anyone asks for food again till then, they won't live long enough to see one more day. Kane is good with making speeches to crowds, ask for him to do it if you want; but make them understand this is how it will be from now on if they want to live. There want be food every day anymore." 

Abby knew this wouldn't calm them but she also knew Octavia was right. There was no choice...She left Octavia's room to find Kane and she ran into Jackson on her way. He was panting, his face contorted with fear.

"Abby you must come to the infirmary right now," he said when he could talk, "Plants we gathered before we came down here to use as medication...there is a group of people trying to steal them...to eat" his voice trailed of near the end. 

"Abby's eyes widened with what she heard. It wasn't that they would lose herbs it was that most of them were poisinous. If they were this crazy by now, then they were going to rise up when they heard Octavia's order. 

It took them a while to calm people and clear the infirmary. Abby, Jackson and Miller were feeling consumed when they stood in the empty, cold room facing each other. They were weak with hunger too... Their heads turned to door when they heard it opening with fear but relaxed when they saw Kane walking in. 

"It can't go like this too long," he said to himself more than to them. "This reminds me our time up on the Ark, on our last days." he added when his eyes met Abby's. 

They all stared at each other with tired looks on their faces. They did not know how long they had left in this bunker without a bloodshed but they all knew it wasn't too long. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please share some thoughts if you read my first chapter. It is just a beggining chapter, so I could see If you would lke to read more. Thank you all so much for reading and please consider that english is not my first language so I might have mistakes.


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